One of my mindless activities, so therefore reserved for Monday mornings, is to drive around and check on our vacant properties. Among other things, it gives me a chance to make sure that any necessary work is progressing as needed, that my Property Managers have things under control, and that the house is secure after the weekend.

So when I encounter one of our homes with a garage door up about halfway and a bicycle laying on its side nearby, I am concerned. When I describe the situation to the police, an officer immediately pulls his gun and proceeds towards the house.

At this point, I’m irritated that I didn’t get some caffeine before this started because I might be here for a really long time. Please, Mr. Officer, don’t shoot him inside the house. I’m tired of dealing with these bloody messes.

When I hear someone yelling, “What did I do?  What did I do?” I follow into the garage and see the “intruder” with a gun in his face. He begins stammering to me about having the keys. I could just die.

I did not know that my staff had rented the house and the tenant had just picked up the keys at my office. He had ridden his bike over to check that the utilities, etc. had been turned on.

His response is what you would imagine. Poor guy. To this day, I just want to crawl under a rock when I see him.

I jumped to conclusions because I have been in far too many homes with intruders inside that refuse to leave until a cop takes them out. When I found one sleeping on a sofa, I ran outside and started yelling at him through the window. It wasn’t until the cop showed up that this guy decided it was time to wake up. I watched him casually saunter out the front door and walk down the street. He must do this a lot.

So if you are not a bonafide tenant, please don’t sleep in my units. And if you do, please do so in the garage so you don’t bleed on the carpeting. If you are a bonafide tenant just moving in, I apologize in advance.

🔑 Make sure that your vacant property is checked regularly.